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> Group Poetry, A line at a time
devonette
post Dec 18 2004, 10:19 AM
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THROUGH THE AGES OF MAN

1) Through the Ages of Man,
One can see wisdom in action
In many a faction.
As we strive to gleen knowledge,
5)This world is our college.
From beginning to now,
We show what we've learned.
Taken from the past,
The lessons come through,
10. Civilization's reach histories
From their miseries,
Comes even greater joys.
Our forefathers give voice
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Rex Havoc
post Dec 18 2004, 12:00 PM
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THROUGH THE AGES OF MAN

1) Through the Ages of Man,
One can see wisdom in action
In many a faction.
As we strive to gleen knowledge,
5)This world is our college.
From beginning to now,
We show what we've learned.
Taken from the past,
The lessons come through,
10. Civilization's reach histories
From their miseries,
Comes even greater joys.
Our forefathers give voice
To the principles of choice,


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gaiasmaiden
post Dec 18 2004, 03:51 PM
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THROUGH THE AGES OF MAN

1) Through the Ages of Man,
One can see wisdom in action
In many a faction.
As we strive to gleen knowledge,
5) This world is our college.
From beginning to now,
We show what we've learned.
Taken from the past,
The lessons come through,
10) Civilization's reach histories
From their miseries,
Comes even greater joys.
Our forefathers give voice
To the principles of choice,
15) We give our hopes and dreams

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
a - line 1
b
b
c
c - line 5
d
d
e
e
f - 10
f
g
g - .....an on is how the poems should go


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devonette
post Dec 18 2004, 09:24 PM
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gaia, my line #13 is an odd line, and was supposed to rhyme with #12, which it did -- joys and voice rhyme. So when you posted a line #15, it should have rhymed with your line #14, which was even and didn't have to rhyme.
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gaiasmaiden
post Dec 18 2004, 09:39 PM
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QUOTE (devonette @ Dec 18 2004, 09:24 PM)
gaia, my line #13 is an odd line, and was supposed to rhyme with #12, which it did -- joys and voice rhyme.  So when you posted a line #15, it should have rhymed with your line #14, which was even and didn't have to rhyme.
*



voice -- vois
joys -- joiz

how do they rhyme??

This post has been edited by gaiasmaiden: Dec 18 2004, 09:39 PM


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devonette
post Dec 18 2004, 09:45 PM
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depends on how you say them. They've been used as rhymes in many other poems before, by published poets.
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gaiasmaiden
post Dec 18 2004, 09:46 PM
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i am a published poet and i have not used those as rhyming words.

but i guess not all poets write the same.


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Ayli
post Dec 18 2004, 09:49 PM
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QUOTE (gaiasmaiden @ Dec 18 2004, 09:39 PM)
QUOTE (devonette @ Dec 18 2004, 09:24 PM)
gaia, my line #13 is an odd line, and was supposed to rhyme with #12, which it did -- joys and voice rhyme.  So when you posted a line #15, it should have rhymed with your line #14, which was even and didn't have to rhyme.
*

voice -- vois
joys -- joiz

how do they rhyme??
*


I'd say they rhymed beautifully. I say jois, but even joiz is close enough to be considered a rhyme...

Devonette is right about line 15 (which is an odd line) to rhyme with an above line.

Gaia you still have time to edit your entry...


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gaiasmaiden
post Dec 18 2004, 09:50 PM
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at this point i do not feel that an edit is needed.

i still don't understand how they rhyme.


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Rex Havoc
post Dec 18 2004, 10:00 PM
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Oops, I haven't even tried to follow a pattern!!! I guess I better be careful!!

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Dragonkin
post Dec 18 2004, 10:21 PM
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Hmmm...
I am sorry dev, but they don't really rhyme, though I must admit that an acsent might cause them to sound alike, kind of like "Hard" and "Tired" in "A Coal Miner's Daughter". That set aside, though, as I had decided before leaving for work yesterday, I have decided to give up this group poetry thread. As Rex Havoc has pointed out, with his previous post, there are people that have been posting without following the rules, either through arrogance or ignorance, to which I know not who did by which. So, I am closing out this poem as best as I can and then will leave it off my mind since this troubled ship has been fired on so easily and without remorse be its fellow ships in fleet, i.e. the people that disregard the rules such as Rex. I will hold no animosity, and will hope that those who so willingly break my rules and then scream murder when their's are bent or broke learn that they should follow what they preach, or they will continue to act like little children that wish all to follow their rules in a neighborhood game and change the rules as they go just to their benifit.

THROUGH THE AGES OF MAN

1) Through the Ages of Man,
One can see wisdom in action,
In many a faction.
As we strive to gleen knowledge,
5) This world is our college.
From beginning to now,
We show what we've learned.
Taken from the past,
The lessons come through,
10) Civilization's reach histories,
From their miseries,
Comes even greater joys.
Our forefathers give voice
To the principles of choice,
15) We give our hopes and dreams,
To our children in paper reams.
May our mistakes give our young pause,
And may our ideals give them cause,
Or we will flounder upon the sea,
20)And hope collapse in misery.


Now, I wash my hands of this thread, and will not consider another to start in such an environment. May any who wish to do as those that I chastiz have done read this poem and learn what has been tried to say. It seems very ironic that the way the poems was filling out would so reflect the turmoil that has been embroiled by this thread. All I can say is good day, and thanks devanette and Ayli and gaiasmaiden for trying to keep with the spirit of this thread, even when under assualt, to the point of attempting to explain to gaia about the inflections of language. Published poets. Hmph... I cannot think of greater fools than they, and have to admit that I am one as well. Alluve.


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devonette
post Dec 19 2004, 12:10 AM
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I'm sorry to see such a wonderful topic come to such a sad end. I highly doubt those who didn't rhyme did it to cause mischief. I think, perhaps, the creation of poetry is meant to be personal creative endeavor. Everyone's idea of what should and shouldn't or does and doesn't rhyme is different. That's one reason why there are so many different types of poetry in the world! I wonder what you discovered in your study of Group Poetry, Dragonkin? Do you think they had creative disputes? Did they create their poems line by line like we did, or did they use a different method?

Oh, as for my choice of using "voice" and "joys" as the rhyme? I'm not the first by far, and certainly won't be the last! Here's only one example of a previous poet using those two words as rhyming (yes, I know the original spelling was "voyce" and "joyes"). The poem is done mostly as "abacddcb", although the 3rd section in question uses "abcddba"

"The Night Watch"
(Henry Vaughan 1622 - 1695)

O JOYS! Infinite sweetness! with what flowers,
And shoots of glory, my soul breaks, and buds!
All the long hours
Of night, and rest
Through the still shrouds
Of sleep, and clouds,
This dew fell on my breast;
O how it bloods,
And spirits all my earth! hark! In what rings,
And hymning circulations the quick world
Awakes, and sings;
The rising winds,
And fallings springs,
Birds, beasts, all things
Adore him in their kinds.
Thus all is hurl'd
In sacr'd hymns, and order, the great chime
And symphony of nature. Prayer is
The world in tune,
A spirit-voice,
And vocal joys

Whose echo is heav'n's bliss.
O let me climb
When I lie down! The pious soul by night
Is like a clouded star, whose beams though said
To shed their light
Under some cloud
Yet are above,
And shine, and move
Beyond that misty shroud.
So in my bed
That curtain'd grave, though sleep, like ashes hide
My lamp, and life, both shall in thee abide.
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d'rbeh
post Dec 19 2004, 12:17 AM
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QUOTE
i am a published poet and i have not used those as rhyming words.


then surely you're aware of "approximate" rhymes; many major poets used these at times as often as they used "exact" rhymes.

i reviewed the rules at the beginning of the thread, and they follow a rhyme scheme of ABBCCDDEEFF ... etc.

however, i must admit that when i posted my addition, i had not read the intent of the poems - i merely added a line, thinking that it would be relaxed.

bye2.gif
salaam

This post has been edited by d'rbeh: Dec 19 2004, 12:22 AM


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Tijara
post Dec 19 2004, 10:48 AM
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Topic locked until further notice.

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