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racegirl
post Feb 27 2009, 04:14 AM
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The site that is my home page has little quotes every day - some are thought-provoking and some are very funny, and I thought I'd share some of the better ones in this thread. Be aware that my sense of humour has been described as "warped" however laugh.gif

Today's gem:

"Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash." Jerry Seinfeld

This post has been edited by racegirl: Feb 27 2009, 04:15 AM


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racegirl
post Feb 27 2009, 02:14 PM
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Today:

"If you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman." Margaret Thatcher


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racegirl
post Feb 28 2009, 02:17 PM
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"Drive defensively - buy a tank." Unknown


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Ken Telinome
post Feb 28 2009, 05:01 PM
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QUOTE (racegirl @ Feb 28 2009, 02:17 PM) *
"Drive defensively - buy a tank." Unknown


I love it! clapping.gif


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racegirl
post Mar 1 2009, 01:14 PM
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"If you tied a buttered piece of toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?" Anon


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J'iim
post Mar 1 2009, 03:33 PM
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Hmmm... my dearly departed cat would have twisted like a pretzel in mid air, licked the butter off the toast, coughed up a hairball, and neatly landed on her feet. (seems like a rather complicated method of treating a cat for hairballs though.) whistling.gif
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Robyn
post Mar 1 2009, 05:05 PM
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QUOTE (racegirl @ Mar 1 2009, 01:14 PM) *
"If you tied a buttered piece of toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?" Anon

This is known as the law or theory of "buttered cats."

The supposition is that since cats "always" land on their feet, and buttered toast "always" lands buttered side down, the cat-toast combination can only spin in mid-air, thus producing an anti-gravity effect.

Now, how many buttered cats will you need to harness to power your flying car or spaceship? laugh.gif


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racegirl
post Mar 1 2009, 11:37 PM
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Toast for tea sounds pretty good to me right at the moment.....with lots of butter!!


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racegirl
post Mar 2 2009, 01:21 PM
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"Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes and it`s our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you`d like to have dinner with." Anonymous Woman


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Robyn
post Mar 3 2009, 12:31 AM
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"We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office." --Aesop




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D'anak
post Mar 3 2009, 03:24 AM
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QUOTE (Robyn @ Mar 1 2009, 02:05 PM) *
This is known as the law or theory of "buttered cats."

The supposition is that since cats "always" land on their feet, and buttered toast "always" lands buttered side down, the cat-toast combination can only spin in mid-air, thus producing an anti-gravity effect.


OMG.... roll.gif roll.gif roll.gif .... Thank you for that.

I needed a good chuckle....
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Ken Telinome
post Mar 3 2009, 09:09 PM
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QUOTE (racegirl @ Mar 2 2009, 01:21 PM) *
"Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes and it`s our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you`d like to have dinner with." Anonymous Woman


bash.gif Remind me to find the mathmetical proof that shows that women are evil.


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racegirl
post Mar 6 2009, 06:36 PM
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Anything by Douglas Adams is fabulous:

"In the beginning the universe was created. This has made a lot of people angry and been widely regarded as a bad move" Douglas Adams


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Ken Telinome
post Mar 6 2009, 09:26 PM
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QUOTE (racegirl @ Mar 6 2009, 06:36 PM) *
Anything by Douglas Adams is fabulous:

"In the beginning the universe was created. This has made a lot of people angry and been widely regarded as a bad move" Douglas Adams


Douglas Adams is one of the most brilliant writers I have ever read.


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racegirl
post Mar 10 2009, 02:54 AM
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"Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before." Steven Wright


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