What's In Your E-mail Options

[budgiemom]

Oh, How beautiful, SC!!!!!

I read the above post about the "gate guard"....gotta tell hubby!

[gaiasmaiden]

liked the flower

as for the gate gaurd....brings memories..
let's just say that near where i live now and close to where i played as a child,
we had an ordnance team out looking for untriggered shells from when the area was an army base.
some casings had been found in the area i use to play in when they started to build homes.

[Dragonkin]

"If you don't stop throwing rocks, I'm going to tell mommy on you!"
"I ain't throwin' them at nothing."
"But, mom said..."
"Mom ain't here right now is she. Besides, what's the worst that could hap.. <BOOOM>."
"MOMMY! Timmy blew up another rock!"

[gaiasmaiden]

HOW TO CLEAN THE HOUSE

I just loved this one, I am going to do it right now.


1. Open a new file in your PC.
2. Name it "Housework."
3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN
4. Empty the RECYCLE BIN
5. Your PC will ask you, "Are you sure you want to
delete Housework permanently?"
6. Answer calmly, "Yes," and press the mouse button
firmly...
7. Feel better?

Works for me!
Enjoy a smile today!

[Robyn]

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention
of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body,
but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other,
body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming,
"WOO-HOO, what a ride!"

[Dragonkin]

On the same thread of thought, a word from a friend on such a matter...
I want to pass away quietly like my father, not screaming like his passangers.

[Rex Havoc]

Oh!! You must have known my Grandfather!!

[gaiasmaiden]

Kids are quick ..

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria.
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
FRANK: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
_________________________________
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

_______________________________________________
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
__________________________________
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't
have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Goss, why do you always get so dirty?
GOSS: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE: I is...
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
_________________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry
tree,
but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish
him?

LOUIS: Because George still had the ax in his hand.
______________________________________
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?

SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________
TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your
brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, teacher, it's the same dog.
___________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when
people are no longer interested?

HAROLD: A teacher.

[gaiasmaiden]

here is one with tips for those of you that enjoy the great outdoors

******************************************
It's about that time folks so thought I'd send out this reminder!!!!

OK, mosquitos... prepare to be repelled!!!!!

Use Bounce Fabric Softener Sheets...Best thing ever used in
Louisiana..just wipe on & go...Great for Babies

Bob, a fisherman, takes one vitamin B-1 tablet a day April through October . He said it works. He was right.
Hasn't had a mosquito bite in 33 years. Try it. Every one he has talked
into trying it works on them. Vitimin B-1( Thiamine Hydrochloride 100 mg.)

If you eat bananas, the mosquitos like you, - something about the banana oil as your body processes it.
Stop eating bananas for the summer and the mosquitos will be much less interested.

This is going to floor you, but one of the best insect repellents someone
found (who is in the woods every day), is Vick's Vaporub.

Plant marigolds around the yard, the flowers give off a smell that bugs do not like, so plant some in that garden also to help ward off bugs without using insecticides.

"Tough guy" Marines who spend a great deal of time "camping out" say that the very best mosquito repellant you can use is Avon Skin-So-Soft bath oil mixed about half and half with alcohol.

One of the best natural insect repellants that I've discovered is made
from the clear real vanilla. This is the pure Vanilla that is sold in
Mexico.
It works great for mosquitoes and ticks, don't know about other insects.

When all else fails--get a frog

[Robyn]

Warning! Not politically correct.
-------------------------------------

Mexican Earthquake:

A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale has hit Mexico.

Two million Mexicans have died and over a million are injured.

The country is totally ruined and the government doesn't know where to start with providing help to rebuild.

The rest of the world is in shock.

Canada is sending troops to help the Mexican army.

Saudi Arabia is sending oil.

Other Latin American countries are sending supplies.

The European community (except France) is sending food and money.

The United States, not to be outdone, is sending two million replacement Mexicans.

[Dragonkin]

Funny. Very funny.

[gaiasmaiden]

A man received this letter from his Mom. She is 91 and still drives
her own car.

Dear Son,
The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a
"honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly
sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir
performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting. So I bought the
sticker and put it on my bumper.

What an uplifting experience that followed! I was stopped at a red
light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and
how good he is, and I didn't notice the light had changed. It is a good
thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never
have noticed. I found that lots of people love Jesus!

Why, while I was sitting there, the guy behind me started honking like
crazy and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, "For the love
of God, Go, Go, Go, Jesus Christ go!

What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus. Everyone started
honking! I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at
all those loving people. I even honked my horn a few times to share in
the love! There must have been a man from Florida back there because I
heard him yelling something about a "sunny beach"

I saw another guy waving in a funny way-with only his middle finger
stuck up in the air. I asked my grandson in the back seat what that
meant. He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign.
Well, I've never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and
gave him the good luck sign back.

My grandson burst out laughing; why, even he was enjoying this religious
experience! A couple of people were so caught up in the joy of the
moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me.
I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended.

That's when I noticed the light had changed, so I waved at all my
brothers and sisters grinning, and drove on through the intersection.

I noticed I was the only car that got through before the light changed
again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love
we had shared. So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window, and
gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign as I drove away.

Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!!!

Will write again soon, Love, Mom

[Robyn]

Oooo! Nice kitty!
BIG Kitty!
This one's for real!

"Mom, can I keep it? It carried me home."

This post has been edited by Robyn: Jun 15 2005, 04:55 PM

[gaiasmaiden]

this little gem is brought to you due to my nice strange friend that sends me some good ones
*********************************************************
So here you go: For those of you who just thought you knew everything, here's a refresher course...............

The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for blood plasma.

No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven (7) times.

Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.

You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.

Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty (50) years of age or older.

The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.

The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache.

American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one (1) olive from each salad served in first-class.

Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise. (Since Venus is normally associated with women what does this tell you?)

Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.

The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer, so did the first "Marlboro Man."

Walt Disney was afraid of mice.

Pearls melt in vinegar.

The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.

It is possible to lead a cow up stairs... but not down stairs.

A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.

Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least six (6) feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush. (I keep my toothbrush in the living room now!)

Richard Millhouse Nixon was the first U.S. president whose name contains all the letters from the word "criminal." The second ? William Jefferson Clinton

And the best for last.....
Turtles can breathe through their butts.

[Shadowcats]

Got this today in an email off a friend how scary is this?

Lightning Striking All Nippon Airlines, Osaka, Japan

This is in normal time


This is in slow motion


This is a still photo just on initiation of the bolt..*Notice* the ground and air bolt feeder strike at the same time.