What's In Your E-mail Options

[J'iim]

LOL. I was really in need of a good groan... err... laugh!

[Robyn]

I knew the "language filter" was going to have a time of it, even with the "continental/British" spelling of the word, but let's see if Mods have a (laughing?) fit...

Keep in mind, this was sent to me by a grandmother... :P

=======================================
A new phenomenon called E-MOONING


We all know those cute little computer symbols called 'emoticons,' where:


:) means a smile and

:( is a frown.


Sometimes these are represented by

:-)

:-(

Well, how about some 'ARSEICONS?'

Here goes:


(_!_) a regular ######

(__!__) a fat ######

(!) a tight ######

(_*_) an ###### hole

{_!_} a swishy ######

(_o_) an ###### that's been around

(_x_) kiss my ######

(_X_) leave my ###### alone

(_zzz_) a tired ######

(_E=mc2_) a smart ######

(_$_) Money coming out of his ######

(_?_) Dumb ######



You have just been e-mooned!
Send this to your friends and
you will be blessed with people laughing
their arses off at your e-mail.
=================================

This post has been edited by Robyn: Feb 18 2014, 05:45 PM

[dadguy]

LOL Pretty funny! :-)

Dadguy

[Robyn]

Customer Complaints

----------------------------------------------------------
THESE ARE ACTUAL COMPLAINTS RECEIVED BY,
"THOMAS COOK VACATIONS FROM DISSATISFIED CUSTOMERS :

1. "I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."

2. "It's lazy of the local shopkeepers in Puerto Vallarta to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time -- this should be banned."

3. "On my holiday to Goa in India , I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food."

4. "We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our own swimsuits and towels. We assumed it would be included in the price"

5. "The beach was too sandy. We had to clean everything when we returned to our room."

6. "We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as white but it was more yellow."

7. "They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was very distracting for my husband who just wanted to relax."

8. "No-one told us there would be fish in the water. The children were scared."

9. "Although the brochure said that there was a fully equipped kitchen, there was no egg-slicer in the drawers."

10. "We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish."

11. "The roads were uneven and bumpy, so we could not read the local guide book during the bus ride to the resort. Because of this, we were unaware of many things that would have made our holiday more fun."

12. "It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England . It took the Americans only three hours to get home. This seems unfair."

13. "I compared the size of our one-bedroom suite to our friends' three-bedroom and ours was significantly smaller."

14. "The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the resort'. We're trainee hairdressers and we think they knew and made us wait longer for service."

15. "When we were in Spain there were too many Spanish people there.
The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish. No one told us that there would be so many foreigners."

16. "We had to line up outside to catch the boat and there was no air-conditioning."

17. "It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel."

18. "I was bitten by a mosquito. The brochure did not mention mosquitoes."

19. "My fiancé and I requested twin-beds when we booked, but instead we were placed in a room with a king bed. We now hold you responsible and want to be re-reimbursed for the fact that I became pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked."

BE AWARE .... THEY WALK AMONG US and VOTE TOO!!!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------


Worse than just being likely voters, these are people who can AFFORD to go on these vacations. What other damage are they doing?

Robyn

[dadguy]

Amazing. Yes, and they vote too. :-)

Dadguy

[Robyn]

Random thoughts as we age ...



The biggest lie I tell myself is ..."I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."


Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes; come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller!


Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet!


I don't trip over things, I do random gravity checks!


I don't need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off!


Old age is coming at a really bad time!


Lord grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can & the friends to post my bail when I finally snap!


I don't have gray hair. I have "wisdom highlights". I'm just very wise.


My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance to idiots that needs work.


Teach your daughter how to shoot, because a restraining order is just a piece of paper.


If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would've put them on my knees.


The kids text me "plz" which is shorter than please. I text back "no" which is shorter than "yes".


I'm going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I'll do that second week.


When did it change from "We the people" to "screw the people?"


Even duct tape can't fix stupid ... but it can muffle the sound!


Why do I have to press one for English when you're just gonna transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?


Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.


Oops! Did I roll my eyes out loud?


At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.


Chocolate comes from cocoa which is a tree ... that makes it a plant which means ... chocolate is salad!!!



And, of course… Have I sent this to you already… or did you send this to me?



Ooo, yeah! "Wisdom highlights!" That's the ticket! (And I'm helping out with a larger font.)

This post has been edited by Robyn: Jan 10 2015, 12:41 PM

[Ayli]

so true Robyn

[Robyn]

so true Robyn

So true, it hurts. And about the only thing you can do about the "hurt" is to laugh about it.

(And I've started using a little "Just for Men" in my beard, so as not to appear "Too wise." LOL )