Help - Search - Members - Calendar
Full Version: What's In Your E-mail
Guild of Greeters > General Off Topic & Community Discussion > The F'ni Farm
Pages: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8
L'lee
slightly bent? "bumped" into the car? lmao.gif That sounds like my kind of optimist! Hee-hee Only in Arkansas would a family who owns a Ferrari shop at Wal-Mart! lmao.gif Makes me wonder if the note was from one of old Sam Walton's daughters in law??? lmao.gif wink3.gif
Nighthawk
Gives an entirely new meaning to "double parked." lmao.gif clapping.gif

At least the bikes seem to be unscathed. laugh.gif

biggrin.gif
ikonius
QUOTE (gaiasmaiden @ May 10 2005, 01:20 AM) *
from my dear friend that knows when i need a laugh!!



Andy Rooney's tips for telemarketers

Three Little Words That Work !!

(1)The three little words are: "Hold On, Please..."

Saying this, while putting down your phone and walking off (instead of hanging-up immediately) would make each telemarketing call so much more time-consuming that boiler room sales would grind to a halt.

Then when you eventually hear the phone company's "beep-beep-beep" tone, you know it's time to go back and hang up your handset, which has efficiently completed its task.

These three little words will help eliminate telephone soliciting.

(2) Do you ever get those annoying phone calls with no one on the other end?

This is a telemarketing technique where a machine makes phone calls and records the time of day when a person answers the phone.

This technique is used to determine the best time of day for a "real" sales person to call back and get someone at home.

What you can do after answering, if you notice there is no one there, is to immediately start hitting your # button on the phone, 6 or 7 times, as quickly as possible. This confuses the machine that dialed the call and it kicks your number out of their system. Gosh, what a shame not to have your name in their system any longer !!!

(3) Junk Mail Help:

When you get "ads" enclosed with your phone or utility bill, return these "ads" with your payment. Let the sending companies throw their own junk mail away.

When you get those "pre-approved" letters in the mail for everything from credit cards to 2nd mortgages and similar type junk, do not throw away the return envelope.

Most of these come with postage-paid return envelopes, right? It costs them more than the regular 37cents postage "IF" and when they receive them back.

It costs them nothing if you throw them away! The postage was around 50 cents before the last increase and it is according to the weight. In that case, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it in these cool little, postage-paid return
envelopes.

One of Andy Rooney's (60 minutes) ideas.

Send an ad for your local chimney cleaner to American Express. Send a pizza coupon to Citibank. If you didn't get anything else that day, then just send them their blank application back!

If you want to remain anonymous, just make sure your name isn't on anything you send them.

You can even send the envelope back empty if you want to just to keep them guessing! It still costs them 37 cents.

The banks and credit card companies are currently getting a lot of their own junk back in the mail, but folks, we need to OVERWHELM them. Let's let them know what it's like to get lots of junk mail, and best of all they're paying for it...Twice!

Let's help keep our postal service busy since they are saying that e-mail is cutting into their business profits, and that's why they need to increase postage costs again. You get the idea!

If enough people follow these tips, it will work----I have been doing this for a few years, and I get very little junk mail anymore.


Good one smile.gif Guess I'll have to apply that towards my junk mail wink3.gif

I work as a sales rep for an answering service (outbound calls only, no telemarketing), and we have one or two funeral homes as clients. Here's a funny little anecdote about a call one of our agents took a year and a half back.

She took this information call from a woman who wanted to know if a certain person was exposed at that particular funeral home that week-end. The agent ended her conversation with "Thank you ma'am. I'll give the gentleman your mesage"

Now there's a hint that your job's becoming a tad repetitive lmao.gif
Robyn
Tech Support


This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills!

If you skip any, you have to read the last one! Unbelievable, but supposedly all true!!!!

=================================
Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...
===============
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No, wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk...sorry....
===============
Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
===============
Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.
===============
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
===============
Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
===============
Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
===============
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer:! OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...
===============
Tech support:
Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
===============
Customer: can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
===============
Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
===============
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
===============
Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?
===============
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."
===============
And last but not least...

Tech support: "Okay Bernie, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bernie.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bernie.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT! whistling.gif
BobC
Here's a spooky one I recieved from a co-worker yesterday.
__________________________________________

A man was walking home alone late one foggy night, when behind him he
hears:



BUMP...




BUMP...




BUMP...

Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the
image of
an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward
him.




BUMP...





BUMP...





BUMP...


Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing
quickly behind him




FASTER...





FASTER...






BUMP...







BUMP...






BUMP...


He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes
in,
slams and locks the door behind him.





However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the
casket
clapping








clappity-BUMP...






clappity-BUMP...






clappity-BUMP...



on his heels, the terrified man runs.





Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart
is
pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.



With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.





Bumping and clapping toward him.





The man screams and reaches for something, anything,
but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!






Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket...










and,



















The coffin stops


shock.gif tomato.gif bleh.gif sprint.gif hiding.gif
Ayli
That was scary, Bob laugh.gif
Robyn
Not really humor, but for all you Terry Pratchett fans:
A Discworld Cake

clapping.gif
budgiemom
laugh.gif What a wonderful wedding present and such a wedding cake! Such artistic talent always leaves me in awe!
budgiemom
bleh.gif This arrived in my e-mail from hubby's cousin as part of Sister and Girlfriends Week or somesuch silliness. I especially got a kick from #4 (and most of you know what I mean)



It is good to be a woman:


1. We got off the Titanic first.


2. We can scare male bosses with the mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.


3 Taxis stop for us.


4. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.


5. No fashion faux pas we make, could ever rival the Speedo.


6. We don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.


7. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.


8. We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear end.


9. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.


10. We have the ability to dress ourselves.


11. We can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.


12. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware that we will look like an idiot.


13. We will never regret piercing our ears.


14. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.


15. We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence because they aren't listening anyway.





laugh.gif
Dragonkin
Wha she say? blink.gif


bleh.gif
TheGamer
lmao.gif i liked those.
Shadowcats
Got this sent to me

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
When life leaves you hanging...
DON'T QUIT
Anything can happen.
Bend, don't break.
Challenge your potential.
Destiny is a choice.
Effort creates opportunities.
Follow your intuition.
Get back up and try again.
Hold on to your vision.
Impress yourself.
Just dig a little deeper.
Keep knocking on doors.
Learn from mistakes.
Motivate with compassion.
Nothing worthwhile comes easy.
Own a positive attitude.
Problems hold messages.
Question what's not working.
Regroup when you need to.
Stand up for your principles.
Think outside the box.
Unite perseverance with resolve.
Value knowing when to walk away.
Work smarter, not just harder.
Xhaust all possibilities.
You can, if you think you can.
Zzzz's, take naps as needed.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
gaiasmaiden
sorry so late seeing everything here


loved the cake!!
budgiemom
This arrived from hubby's cousin this morning. I am of the Get In and Get Out and it's hubby who has to check everything and read everything...drives me up the wall. BUT......although I have never dreamed of doing any of these things....... whistling.gif Note to Mod: if you think #3 is toooo much, feel free to edit it out...

Sent: Wednesday, November 15, 2006 2:48 PMSubject: Bored At Wal Mart

Mr. and Mrs. Fenton are retired, and Mrs. Fenton insists her husband go with
her to Wal-Mart. He gets so bored with all the shopping trips. He prefers to
get in and get out, but Mrs. Fenton loves to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton
gets this letter from Wal-Mart:

Dear Mrs. Fenton,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in
our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may ban both of you from our
stores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance
equipment. All complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below.

Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse was
shopping in Wal-Mart:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put
them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go
off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor
leading to the ladies rest rooms.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an
official tone, 'Code 3' in house wares..... and watched what happened.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a
bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department
and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from
the bedding department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him,
he begins to cry and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera;
used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting
department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously
loudly humming the "Mission Impossible " theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his
"Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people
browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes
the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

And last, but not least .

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the
door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in
here!"

cool.gif
BobC
clapping.gif roll.gif roll.gif clapping.gif
The Madonna look.... Whatever might that be?? roll.gif roll.gif
4dak
I was sent that exact email by my aunt about a month ago.

It still gives me a laugh.
gaiasmaiden
Old Coffee

Late one night I stopped at one of those 24-hour gas station mini
marts to get myself a cup of freshly-brewed coffee. When I picked up
the pot, I could not help noticing that the brew was as black as
asphalt and just about as thick.

"How old is the coffee you have here?" I asked the woman who was
standing behind the store counter.

She shrugged. "Don't know. Been workin' here only two weeks."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
New Math

Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi

2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton

Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement:
1 bananosecond

Weight an evangelist carries with God: 1 billigram

Half of a large intestine: 1 semicolon

1000 aches: 1 kilohurtz

Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower

1 million microphones: 1 megaphone

2000 mockingbirds: two kilomockingbirds

52 cards: 1 decacards

3 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University
Hospital: 1 I.V. League
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
oops! i almost forgot this one.......
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Elvis Presley's Senior Citizen song :


Are you lonesome tonight, does your tummy feel tight?
Did you bring your Mylanta and Tums?
Does your memory stray, to that bright sunny day...
When you had all your teeth and your gums?

Is your hairline receding, are your eyes growing dim? Hysterectomy for
her, and its prostate for him. Does your back give you pain...do your
knees predict rain? Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?

Is your blood pressure up, your cholesterol down?
Are you eating your low-fat cuisine?
All that oat bran and fruit, Metamucil to boot,
keeps you like a well-oiled machine.

If it's football, or baseball...he sure knows the score.
Yes, he knows where it's at...but forgets what it's for.
So, your gall bladder's gone, and his gout lingers on.
Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?

When you're hungry, he's not. When you're cold, then he's hot. Then you
start that old thermostat war. When you turn out the light, he goes
left, you go right. Then you get his great symphonic snore.

He was once so romantic, and witty and smart.
How'd he turn out to be such a cranky old fart?
So don't take any bets, this is as good as it gets.
Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight
Etheldred
lmao.gif lmao.gif lmao.gif lmao.gif lmao.gif
Rex Havoc
Batting Practice... whistling.gif

Penguin
gaiasmaiden
Dear Santa,

I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my children
on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor, and sold
sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school
playground.

I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases,

since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on
the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows
when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.

Here are my Christmas wishes:

I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple,
which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze; but are
strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy aisle in the
grocery store.

I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month
of my last pregnancy.

If you're hauling big ticket items this year, I'd like fingerprint
resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music; a television that
doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals; and a refrigerator
with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the
phone.

On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, "Yes,
Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with two kids who don't fight, and
three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power
tools.

I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting "Don't eat in
the living room" and "Take your hands off your brother," because my voice seems
to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by
the dog.

If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough
time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of
eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a
Styrofoam container.

If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten
the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a
vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely. It would be helpful
if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding
payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family.

Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my son saw my feet
under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back.
Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door and
come in and dry off so you don't catch cold.

Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave
crumbs on the carpet.

Yours Always, MOM...!

P.S. One more thing...you can cancel all my requests if you can keep my
children young enough to believe in Santa.

(ps.
rex, loved the penguin....got up to 291.5
)
budgiemom
I think the letters is great!

(Budgie got up to 316.7...)
Piran
Oh Budgie! RE: the WalMart letter.... lmao.gif lmao.gif lmao.gif lmao.gif lmao.gif
This has been a bumpy week or so for me. I needed a good laugh. I laughed so hard tears came out my eyes!!!

I also enjoyed the letter to Santa. I certainly came to the right place for a pick-me-up.

Thanks guys! clapping.gif clapping.gif
Ayli
QUOTE (Rex Havoc @ Dec 13 2006, 04:11 PM) *
Batting Practice... whistling.gif

Penguin


Poor pinguin down.gif

Piran
This isn't funny, though it's quite astonishing. Being that it came to me in my email, I thought this was the proper thread.

"These trees were grown in Santa Cruz CA the year I don't know , but the man that grew them never told any one how he did it . then in around 1999 the owner of Nob Hill foods in Gilroy CA moved them to his park in Gilroy and they are doing well. "

Click here to view/hide a spoiler.

Click here to view/hide a spoiler.

Click here to view/hide a spoiler.

Click here to view/hide a spoiler.

Click here to view/hide a spoiler.

Click here to view/hide a spoiler.

Click here to view/hide a spoiler.

Click here to view/hide a spoiler.


I surely thought these looked like something that would be written in to a D'ni age! This man must have been a member of the Guild of Growers! whistling.gif
L'lee
QUOTE (Piran @ Jan 19 2007, 07:17 AM) *
{snip} the man that grew them never told any one how he did it {snip}

shock.gif Veeeeerrrrry carefully, and with years of TLC (Tender Loving Care)! worship.gif

Simply AMAZING!! Thank you so much for sharing them with us!
kurtg1265
Yes those are quite neat. It looks like a few he somehow fused a couple trees together. I think I would be cringing every time a good windstorm came through though. They cant be as strong as a normal tree trunk.
L'lee
I dunno, Kurt... The way I have seen this type of thing done before, they actually cut away the outer surface of bark, and make the tree branches grow together so that, eventually, the branches are actually intertwined. A multistranded rope is stronger than a single strand, so I'd think these tress have got to be pretty strong... *shrug*
Ayli
Yes, simply amazing shock.gif It reminds me of piercing that is done in some cultures that produces big openings in the parts of the body, like lips or ears.
Ja'de
For us older folks out there, how about a trip down memory lane.

Linky
Piran
clapping.gif Oh Lial, I enjoyed that very much! Thank you!
Nighthawk
QUOTE (Ja @ Jan 23 2007, 08:58 PM) *
For us older folks out there, how about a trip down memory lane.

Linky


Nice Ja'de. Thanks. I had forgotten how many shows had animals in them: dogs, horses, and even fish (Flipper- well, technically, a mammal laugh.gif ). I would have also liked to have seen Peter Gunn and Mr. Lucky in the line-up.
biggrin.gif

And Lial, what a wonderful story and set of pictures. Thanks for sharing. biggrin.gif
Nighthawk
Subject: Jobs.........

1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice
factory, but I got Canned. I couldn't concentrate.

2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but I
just couldn't Hack it, so they gave me the axe.

3. After that, I tried to be a Tailor, but I just
wasn't suited for it - Mainly because it was a sew-sew
job.

4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but
that was too exhausting.

5. Then, I tried to be a Chef - figured it would add a
little spice to my life, But I just didn't have the
thyme.

6. I attempted to be a Deli Worker, but any way I
sliced it I couldn't Cut the mustard.

7. My best job was a Musician, but eventually I found
I wasn't noteworthy.

8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but I
didn't have any patience.

9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. I tried but I
just didn't fit in.

10. I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered
that I couldn't live On my net income.
11. I managed to get a good job working for a Pool
Maintenance Company, But the work was just too
draining.

12. So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they
said I wasn't fit for the job.

13. After many years of trying to find steady work! ,
I finally got a job as a Historian - until I realized
there was no future in it.

14. My last job was working in Starbucks, but I had to
quit because it was Always the same old grind.

15. SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT AND FOUND THAT I'M PERFECT
FOR THE JOB !!
_________________________________________________________________

Wish that rang a bell for me. But one of these days.... lmao.gif
Robyn
I forwarded this piece to a few friends...
A Kitten's Guide to Nigerian Tuna Spam
Which got this link in return... How to Bathe Your Cat...NOT!
Robyn
And then this reply...
-------------------------------------
Dear Fluffy,

I was almost persuaded into a Nigerian scam a few months ago, but followed my intuition, which led me to not falling for the deal (of a lifetime!). But, you are so cute and I want to help! I can imagine you stuffing yourself with all that bad tuna, poor Kitty! So, just let me know what I must do to help a sweet little Kitty like you!

You must do one thing for me though. If my cat Sidney finds out I'm helping you with your tuna problem, well, lets just say there would be big problems, and I do believe he listens in to my phone conversations, and I'm quite sure he reads my e-mail too, he's always hanging around when I have people over, you know, probably listening to what we're saying!! Sometimes he hides behind the sofa out of sight, just taking it all in!!!

So be very cautious when you contact me...your name will be Jake instead of Fluffy....Your tuna problem will be a vicious dog that kills cats every time you turn around....and you live next door.

I've been trying to keep Sidney in the house instead of going outside for quite some time now, (I think he is planning on taking my car for a joy ride, why else would my car keys come up missing just to be found close to the cat box) and you just might help me out there.

Your Friend Always
Janet

Hey, you wouldn't have any money to put into my accounts to help me out financially, would you?

------------------------------------

Yeah. Janet better be careful, or I'm sure Sidney will be demanding a cut... whistling.gif
gaiasmaiden
HOSPITAL PHONE CALL

Anyone who has ever had a loved one in the hospital will enjoy this:

A woman called a local hospital . .

"Hello. Could you connect me to the person who gives information about patients. I'd like to find out if a patient is getting better, doing as expected, or getting worse."

The voice on the other end said, "What is the patient's name and room number?"

"Sarah Finkel, room 302."

"I'll connect you with the nursing station . . "

"3-A Nursing Station. How can I help You?"

"I'd like to know the condition of Sarah Finkel in room 302."

"Just a moment. &nb sp;Let me look at her records. Mrs. Finkel is doing very well. In fact, she's had two full meals, her blood pressure is fine, she is to be taken off the heart monitor in a couple of hours and, if she continues this improvement, Dr. Cohen is going to send her home Tuesday at noon."

The woman said, "What a relief! Oh, that's fantastic . . that's wonderful news!"
The nurse said, "From your enthusiasm, I take it you are a close family member or a very close friend!"

"Neither! I AM Sarah Finkel in 302! Nobody here tells me s***.
Piran
I received this link in an email this morning. I knew right away EXACTLY who I wanted to share it with! YOU!!! Enjoy everyone!
Linky to short Video hug2.gif
Ayli
That's a nice one Piran hug2.gif
CAGrayWolf
I know I have never posted in this thread ... but this was to funny to pass up and needed to share it with you all. lmao.gif

The 3rd man in history to walk on water:


The 1st one was Christ...

The 2nd one was Peter (the apostle)...


Then there was this guy, Jose.........


Click here to view/hide a spoiler.
kurtg1265
Id be willing to bet with that kind of incentive, just about anybody could.......... lmao.gif
BobC
That's a good one, Wolfie!! thumbsup.gif

lmao.gif lmao.gif lmao.gif
CAGrayWolf
A young man at this construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone based on his strength. He especially made fun of one of the older workman. After several minutes, the older worker had enough.

"Why don't you put your money where you mouth is?" he said. "I'll bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to the other building that you won't be able to wheel back."

"You're on, old man," the young man replied. "Let's see what you've got."

The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then nodding to the young man, he said with a smile, "All right. Get in.
Rex Havoc
QUOTE (J'ade)
For us older folks out there, how about a trip down memory lane.


Hmmm, I MUST be old! I remember most of those!!
budgiemom
Hubby sent me this. Don't know where he found it or when it was taken. But just could not resist sharing it with you....only in Texas could you have Snow and Bluebonnets!
Click here to view/hide a spoiler.
CAGrayWolf
From my Aunt Sandy ... who is always sending this kind of stuff.

QUOTE
At Three minutes and Four seconds after 2 AM on the 6th of May this year,

time and date will be 02:03:04 05/06/07.

This will never happen again in our lifetime.
kurtg1265
Well.........it will at three minutes and four seconds after 2 PM bleh.gif
racegirl
Hmmm.....doesn't work for me - it would be 02:03:04: 06/05/07 (we put the day before the month - the UK way).

Still pretty cool though!! hug.gif
UruBoo
Well, in our way, it will happen again in June, 5th...
racegirl
Oh yes! So it will!! hug.gif Boo
CAGrayWolf
A WOMEN was flying from Seattle to San Francisco. Unexpectedly, the plane was diverted to Sacramento along the way. The flight attendant explained that there would be a delay, and if the passengers wanted to get off the aircraft the plane would re-board in 50 minutes.

Everybody got off the plane except one lady who was blind. The man had noticed her as he walked by and could tell the lady was blind because her Seeing Eye dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of her throughout the entire flight.

He could also tell she had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached her, and calling her by name, said, "Kathy, we are in Sacramento for almost an hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?" The blind lady replied, "No thanks, but maybe my dog would like to stretch his legs."

Picture this:

All the people in the gate area came to a complete standstill when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with a Seeing Eye dog!

The pilot was even wearing sunglasses. People scattered. They not only tried to change planes, but they were trying to change airlines!

True story.... here's his picture. Have a great day and remember...


THINGS AREN'T ALWAYS AS THEY APPEAR.
This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please click here.
Invision Power Board © 2001-2020 Invision Power Services, Inc.