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Guild of Greeters > General Off Topic & Community Discussion > The F'ni Farm
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gaiasmaiden
laugh.gif
CAGrayWolf
Another email from my Aunt Sandy ... she does send me some good ones. thumbsup.gif

I found this one extra-ordinary and somewhat close to my heart ... in that I loved and was very fascinated with Lego's growing up as a kid from age 6 when I was given my first Lego toy (1970). I built some amazing things back then, and often wanted to build more elaborate projects that I had seen on display in toy and hobby stores ... but sadly never got around to it.

Moving along to the email ... I decided to research this a bit more and found the actual website for the four images that were in the email and I decided rather than post the pictures here ... I would post the link instead ... mainly because the story behind the construction of this amazing project is just as, if not more touching ... and the story from the Lego People's point of view is just as fun to read.

So ... without further ado ... Abston Church of Christ
Ayli
Yes, I've seen this before. It's amazing the amount of work that the creator has put into it thumbsup.gif And the kitty is cute smile.gif
CAGrayWolf
For the last company picnic, management decided that, due to liability issues, we could have alcohol, but only one (1) drink per person.



I was fired for ordering the cups.



Click here to view/hide a spoiler.



Dragonkin
wink3.gif *hik* biggrin.gif
Robyn
Not that THIS group fits the profile. (But another list I'm on surely does! lmao.gif )
I believe I posted a similar listing a couple of years ago, but it's coming around again after mutating a bit.
=====================================================

How many Group members does it take to change a light bulb?

One to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.
Fifty seven members to blame Yahoo for burning the bulb
Fourteen to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.
Seven to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.
Seven more to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.
Three to correct spelling/grammar errors.
Six to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb".
Another six to condemn those six as stupid.
Fifteen to claim experience in the lighting industry and give the correct spelling.
Nineteen to post that this group is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb (or light bulb) forum.
Eleven to defend the posting to the group saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this group.
Thirty six to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty.
Seven to post URLs where one can see examples of different light bulbs.
Four to post that the URLs were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL.
Three to post about links they found from the URLs that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group.
Thirteen to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too".
Five to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy.
Four to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"
Thirteen to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs."
Three to tell a funny story about their cat and a light bulb.
AND
One group lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now with something unrelated and start it all over again.
CAGrayWolf
QUOTE (Robyn @ May 12 2007, 08:55 PM) *
Not that THIS group fits the profile. (But another list I'm on surely does! lmao.gif )
I believe I posted a similar listing a couple of years ago, but it's coming around again after mutating a bit.
=====================================================


bash.gif OW ... that hurt, I was both laughing and offended (can't imagine why whistling.gif ) by all this verymad.gif lmao.gif thumbsup.gif
MystyRiver
QUOTE (Robyn @ May 12 2007, 11:55 PM) *
Not that THIS group fits the profile. (But another list I'm on surely does! lmao.gif )
I believe I posted a similar listing a couple of years ago, but it's coming around again after mutating a bit.
=====================================================


HEHEHEH... bash.gif headbang.gif whistling.gif bleh.gif clown.gif roll.gif roll.gif lmao.gif hiding.gif
Dragonkin


I would much rather use the top one to the bottom one.




whistling.gif What? whistling.gif
Deem
Laughing so hard right now!

BTW, I'm a traditionalist with a love for creativity:

CAGrayWolf


BATHROOM PAINTED FLOOR

*IMAGINE YOU ARE AT A PARTY on the tenth floor....*

*YOU'VE BEEN DRINKING......* *(not that you would...)*

*AND THEN YOU HAVE TO VISIT THE BATHROOM.... *

*You open the door.... **

NOW, REMEMBER,* *THE FLOOR IS JUST* * A PAINTED FLOOR!**

KINDA TAKES YOUR BREATH AWAY.....* *DOESN'T IT?*


Click here to view/hide a spoiler.
CAGrayWolf
The Man Rules-------------------
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally , the guys' side of the story. ( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear " the rules"! from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.

________________________________________________________________________

These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 " ON PURPOSE!!

The 'Man' Rules
1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
commercials...

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We
have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...
Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as baseball
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Robyn
A Terrible Joke "A Thief in Paris" :

A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the
Louvre. After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings and made it safely to his van.

However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas.

When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied, "Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings. I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."

(And you thought I didn't have De Gaulle to send this on to someone else.)

Well, I figure I have nothing Toulouse.
Ja'de
Just got this one from my brother.

I don't usually forward these but this was a good one to pass on. I think I've seen it before but nonetheless . . .

Sláinte,

Dennis

Here's to the good times we all had as kids, when life was so much simpler!!





Those Born 1920-1979

READ TO THE BOTTOM FOR QUOTE OF THE MONTH BY JAY LENO. IF YOU DON'T READ ANYTHING ELSE---VERY WELL STATED



TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED th e 1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's!!



First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.



They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.



Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints.



We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.



As infants &children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags.



Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.



We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.



We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.



We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank Kool-aid made with sugar, but we weren't overweight because,

WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!



We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.



No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.



We would spend hou rs building our go-carts out of scraps and the n ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.



We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computer! s, no Internet or chat rooms.......

WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!



We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.



We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.



We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.



We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to th em!



Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!



The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!



These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!



The past 5 0 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!



If YOU are one of themCONGRATULATIONS!



You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as k ids, before th e lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good .

While you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave (and lucky) their parents were.



Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?!



The quote of the month is by Jay Leno:

"With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bi rd flu and terrorist attacks, are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?" <

For those that prefer to think that God is not watching over us...go ahead and delete this.

For the rest of us...pass this ON!
gaiasmaiden
Lawyers and computers have both been proliferating since 1970. Unfortunately, lawyers, unlike computers, have not gotten twice as smart and half as expensive every 18 months.

****************************************************

Bad Leg
A man goes into the doctor. He says, "Doc, you gotta check my leg. Something's wrong. Just put your ear up to my thigh, you'll hear it!"

The doctor cautiously placed his ear to the man's thigh, only to hear, "Gimme 20 bucks. I really need 20 bucks."

"I've never seen or heard anything like this before. How long has this been going on?" The doctor asked.

"That's nothing Doc. Put your ear to my knee."

The doctor put his ear to the man's knee and heard it say, "Man, I really need 10 dollars. Just lend me 10 bucks!!"

"Sir, I really don't know what to tell you. I've never seen anything like this." The doctor was dumbfounded.

"Wait Doc, that's not all. There's more, just put your ear up to my ankle," the man urged him.

The doctor did as the man said and was blown away to hear his ankle plead, "Please, I just need 5 dollars. Lend me 5 bucks, please, if you will."

"I have no idea what to tell you. There's nothing about it in my books," he said, as he frantically searched all his medical reference books.

"I can make a well educated guess though," he continued. "Based on life and all my previous experience, I can tell you that your leg seems to be broke in three places."
Lial
enjoy!
gaiasmaiden
an airman sits down to fill out a questionnaire for a correspondence course
he sits perplexed by one of the questions
"How long has your current employer been in business?"
after careful thought he writes down
"Since 1776."
CAGrayWolf
Zen Sarcasm
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the heek alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leakytire.

3. It is always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it binds the universe together.

18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and laxative on the same night.
gaiasmaiden
laugh.gif
BobC
This little gem arrived in my email today and I just had to share.

Enjoy!

Funny Video

clapping.gif clapping.gif lmao.gif lmao.gif clapping.gif clapping.gif
Ayli
Oh, this is wonderful!!! I sent a few e-mails of my own smile.gif
budgiemom
clapping.gif Except for generational tech items, those words were spoken to me and by me....oh, I am so glad it wasn't Just me!!!!
Rex Havoc
lmao.gif True to the 'lurker' who posts months after the original post, I thought I'd post this about this post and this photo and this comment from Dragonkin
QUOTE
I would much rather use the top one to the bottom one.
with this question... Why? They are both florescent!! whistling.gif
Robyn
For those addicted to the Food Channel... "Good Eats, Amazing Feats" whistling.gif
Dragonkin
It looks more futuristic and I like the loopy look. :shrug:
Robyn
Mixing cats and Christmas trees?!? whistling.gif

Subject: How to Decorate Your Xmas Tree

Because, obviously, anything you can do is done better with cats! wink3.gif
Tree Decorating 101...
Etheldred
Just got this from a friend. Not as funny as it could be, IMO. Sorry if it offends anyone.

QUOTE
Maybe this is why home schooling is so popular in the US of A.

NO PARENT LEFT BEHIND

I promise you cannot read these and not laugh out loud. These are REAL notes written by PARENTS in a Tennessee school district. (Spellings have been left intact.) Most of them are funny, but some are just sad.

1-- MY SON IS UNDER A DOCTOR'S CARE AND SHOULD NOT TAKE PE TODAY. PLEASE EXECUTE HIM.

2-- PLEASE EXKUCE LISA FOR BEING ABSENT SHE WAS SICK AND I HAD HER SHOT

3-- DEAR SCHOOL: PLEASE ECSC's JOHN BEING ABSENT ON JAN. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 AND ALSO 33.

4-- PLEASE EXCUSE GLORIA FROM JIM TODAY. SHE IS ADMINISTRATING.

5-- PLEASE EXCUSE ROLAND FROM P.E. FOR A FEW DAY! S. YESTERDAY HE FELL OUT OF A TREE AND MISPLACED HIS HIP.

6-- JOHN HAS BEEN ABSENT BECAUSE HE HAD TWO TEETH TAKEN OUT OF HIS FACE.

7-- CARLOS WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY BECAUSE HE WAS PLAYING FOOTBALL. HE WAS HURT IN THE GROWING PART.

8-- MEGAN COULD NOT COME TO SCHOOL TODAY BECAUSE SHE HAS BEEN BOTHERED BY VERY CLOSE VEINS.

9-- CHRIS WILL NOT BE IN SCHOOL CUS HE HAS AN ACRE IN HIS SIDE.

10-- PLEASE EXCUSE RAY FRIDAY FROM SCHOOL. HE HAS VERY LOOSE VOWELS.

11-- PLEASE EXCUSE PEDRO FROM BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. HE HAD (DIAHRE, DYREA, DIREATHE), THE SH**S. NOTE: [WORDS IN ( )'s WERE CROSSED OUT. (Love it!)

12-- PLEASE EXCUSE TOMMY FOR BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. HE HAD DIARRHEA, AND HIS BOOTS LEAK.

13-- IRVING WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY BECAUSE HE MISSED HIS BUST.

14-- PLEASE EXCUSE JIMMY FOR BEING. IT WAS HIS FATHER'S FAULT. {You know, this could be legit!}

15-- I KEPT BILLIE HOME BECAUSE SHE HAD TO GO CHRISTMAS SHOPPING BECAUSE DON'T KNOW WHAT SIZE SHE WEAR.

16-- PLEASE EXCUSE JENNIFER FOR MISSING SCHOOL YESTERDAY. WE FORGOT TO GET THE SUNDAY PAPER OFF THE PORCH, AND WHEN WE FOUND IT MONDAY. WE THOUGHT IT WAS SUNDAY.

17-- MY DAUGHTER WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY BECAUSE SHE WAS TIRED. SHE SPENT A WEEKEND WITH THE MARINES. {I absolutely LOVE that one!}

18-- PLEASE EXCUSE JASON FOR BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. HE HAD A COLD AND COULD NOT BREED WELL.

19-- PLEASE EXCUSE MARY FOR BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. SHE WAS IN BED WITH GRAMPS.

20-- GLORIA WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY AS SHE WAS HAVING A GANGOVER.

21-- MARYANN WAS ABSENT DECEMBER 11-16, BECAUSE SHE HAD A FEVER, SORETHROAT, HEADACHE AND UPSET STOMACH. HER SISTER WAS ALSO SICK, FEVER AN SORE THROAT, HER BROTHER HAD A LOW GRADE FEVE! R AND ACHED ALL OVER. I WASN'T THE BEST EITHER SORE THROAT AND FEVER. THERE MUST BE SOMETHING GOING AROUND, HER FATHER EVEN GOT HOT LAST NIGHT.

NOW WE KNOW WHY PARENTS ARE SCREAMING FOR BETTER EDUCATION FOR OUR KIDS.



Ayli
QUOTE (BobC @ Oct 8 2007, 06:56 PM) *
This little gem arrived in my email today and I just had to share.

Enjoy!

Funny Video

clapping.gif clapping.gif lmao.gif lmao.gif clapping.gif clapping.gif


Oh, I found lyrics to this video, I had problems understanding some of it, so now I do. Here is another link to YouTube's version. roll.gif

Click here to view/hide a spoiler.
Get up now
Get up now
Get up out of bed
Wash your face
Brush your teeth
Comb your sleepyhead
Here's your clothes and your shoes
Hear the words I said
Get up now! Get up and make your bed
Are you hot? Are you cold?
Are you wearing that?
Where's your books and your lunch and your homework at?
Grab your coat and gloves and your scarf and hat
Don't forget! You gotta feed the cat
Eat your breakfast, the experts tell us it's the most important meal of all
Take your vitamins so you will grow up one day to be big and tall
Please remember the orthodontist will be seeing you at 3 today
Don't forget your piano lesson is this afternoon so you must play
Don't shovel
Chew slowly
But hurry
The bus is here
Be careful
Come back here
Did you wash behind your ears?
Play outside, don't play rough, will you just play fair?
Be polite, make a friend, don't forget to share
Work it out, wait your turn, never take a dare
Get along! Don't make me come down there
Clean your room, fold your clothes, put your stuff away
Make your bed, do it now, do we have all day?
Were you born in a barn? Would you like some hay?
Can you even hear a word I say?
Answer the phone! Get off the phone!
Don't sit so close, turn it down, no texting at the table
No more computer time tonight!
Your iPod's my iPod if you don't listen up
Where are you going and with whom and what time do you think you're coming home?
Saying thank you, please, excuse me makes you welcome everywhere you roam
You'll appreciate my wisdom someday when you're older and you're grown
Can't wait till you have a couple little children of your own
You'll thank me for the counsel I gave you so willingly
But right now I thank you not to roll your eyes at me
Close your mouth when you chew, would appreciate
Take a bite maybe two of the stuff you hate
Use your fork, do not burp or I'll set you straight
Eat the food I put upon your plate
Get an A, get the door, don't get smart with me
Get a grip, get in here, I'll count to three
Get a job, get a life, get a PHD
Get a dose of,
"I don't care who started it!
You're grounded until you're 36"
Get your story straight and tell the truth for once, for heaven's sake
And if all your friends jumped off a cliff would you jump, too?
If I've said it once, I've said at least a thousand times before
That you're too old to act this way
It must be your father's DNA
Look at me when I am talking
Stand up straighter when you walk
A place for everything and everything must be in place
Stop crying or I'll give you something real to cry about
Oh!
Brush your teeth, wash your face, put your PJs on
Get in bed, get up here, say a prayer with mom
Don't forget, I love you
And tomorrow we will do this all again because a mom's work never ends
You don't need the reason why
Because, because, because, because
I said so, I said so, I said so, I said so
I'm the mom, the mom, the mom, the mom, the mom!!
Ta da!!!
Robyn
Rube Goldberg does websites now... Hema whistling.gif
Ayli
Oh that is cute clapping.gif
budgiemom
clapping.gif Yes, it made watching products for sale actually enjoyable!!! clapping.gif
CAGrayWolf
QUOTE (Robyn @ Feb 12 2008, 05:36 PM) *
Rube Goldberg does websites now... Hema whistling.gif

lmao.gif Thanks Robyn ... that was great. As Mom said, "Yes, it made watching products for sale actually enjoyable!!!"
L'lee
Got this one from my sister today:

IF YOU WERE A LITTLE GIRL IN THE 1970'S......

  • You had that Fisher Price Doctor's Kit with a stethoscope that actually worked.
  • You owned a bicycle with a banana seat and a plastic basket with flowers on it.
  • You learned to skate with actual skates (not roller blades) that had metal wheels.
  • You thought Gopher from Love Boat was cute (admit it!)
  • You had nightmares after watching Fantasy Island .
  • You had either a 'bowl cut' or 'pixie', not to mention the 'Dorothy Hamill'. People sometimes thought you were a boy.
  • You had rubber boots for rainy days and Moon boots for snowy days.
  • YEAH! You owned a 'Slip-n-Slide', on which you injured yourself on a sprinkler head more than once.
  • You owned 'Klick-Klacks' and smacked yourself in the face more than once !
  • Your Holly Hobbie sleeping bag was your most prized possession.
  • You wore a poncho, gauchos, and knickers.
  • You begged Santa for the electronic game, Simon.
  • You had the Donnie and Marie dolls with those pink and purple satiny shredded outfits, or the sunshine family
  • You spent hours in your backyard on your metal swing set with the trapeze.
  • The swing set tipped over at least once.
  • You had homemade ribbon barrettes in every imaginable color. (Oh yeah!)
  • You had a pair of Doctor Scholl's sandals (the ones with hard sole & the buckle). You also had a pair of salt-water sandals.
  • You wanted to be Laura Ingalls Wilder really bad; you wore that Little House on the
    Prairie-inspired plaid, ruffle shirt with the high neck in at least one school picture;
    and you despised Nellie Oleson!
  • You wanted your first kiss to be at a roller rink!
  • PONG! ('video tennis' ) was the most remarkable futuristic game you've ever heard of !
  • Your hairstyle was described as having 'wings' or 'feathers' and you kept it 'pretty'
    with the comb you kept in your back pocket.
  • When you walked, the 'wings' flapped up and down, looked like you were gonna 'take off'
  • You know who Strawberry Shortcake is, as well as her friends, Blueberry Muffin and Huckleberry Pie.
  • You carried a Muppets lunch box to school and it was metal, not plastic.
  • With the thermos inside some were glass inside and broke the first time you dropped them.
  • You and your girlfriends would fight over which of the Dukes of Hazzard was your boyfriend.
  • YOU had Star Wars action figures, too!
  • It was a big event in your household each year when the 'Wizard of Oz' would come on TV.
    Your mom would break out the popcorn and sleeping bags!
  • You often asked your Magic-8 ball the question: 'Who will I marry.
    Shaun Cassidy, Leif Garrett, or David Cassidy?'
  • You completely wore out your Grease, Saturday Night Fever, and Fame soundtrack record album.
  • You tried to do lots of arts and crafts, like yarn and Popsicle-stick God's eyes, decoupage,
    or those weird potholders made on a plastic loom.
  • You made Shrinky-Dinks and put iron-on kittens on your t-shirts!
  • You used to tape record songs off the radio by holding your portable tape player up to the speaker.
  • You had subscriptions to Dynamite and Tiger Beat.
  • You learned everything you needed to know about girl issues from Judy Blume books. (Are you there God, It's Me, Margaret.)
  • You thought Olivia Newton John's song 'Physical' was about aerobics. (??it's not??)
  • You wore friendship pins on your tennis shoes, or shoelaces with heart or rain bow designs.
  • You wanted to be a Solid Gold dancer.
  • You drowned yourself in Love's Baby Soft - which was the first 'real' perfume you ever owned.
  • You glopped your lips in Strawberry Roll-on lip-gloss till it almost dripped off.
racegirl
shock.gif Oh my goodness!! That's just sooooo scary!! I can relate to almost all of that (although I don't know what some things are, like Shrinky-Dinks confused1.gif I probably had an equivalent).

The song "Physical" isn't about aerobics?? Really?? blink.gif
CAGrayWolf
I'm not a girl by any means ... and NO, I'm not a queen either bleh.gif ... but I could easily relate to just over half of these. I loved my "feathered hair" along with bell bottoms and fl-away Wind Tip collars. lmao.gif
alaina
I remember a good chunk of that. Anybody remember Baby strawberry shortcake who blew strawberry scented kisses when you squeezed her lol. and those too cute booties.
Shadowcats
LOL there all good pitty most of the funny emails I been getting are defiantly NOT "E" rated so won't post any. blush.gif
L'lee
QUOTE (racegirl @ Feb 20 2008, 12:14 PM) *
shock.gif Oh my goodness!! That's just sooooo scary!! I can relate to almost all of that (although I don't know what some things are, like Shrinky-Dinks confused1.gif I probably had an equivalent).

Heehee... me too, Race... I remember making Shrinky Dinks at home! Of course, I also remember homemade playdough that didn't stink like the brand name stuff did/still does!
racegirl
Yep - I had an equivalent but can't remember what they were called now. Definitely not Shrinky Dinks.

I love the smell of commercially produced Playdoh smile.gif
Shadowcats
Some from me I got from my cousin


I GOT STOPPED FOR SPEEDING YESTERDAY.

I THOUGHT I COULD TALK
MY WAY OUT OF IT UNTIL THE OFFICER LOOKED AT
MY DOG IN THE BACK SEAT



Photo on the Night Stand


After a long night of making love,

the guy notices a photo of another man,

On the woman's nightstand beside the bed

He begins to worry.

'Is this your husband?'

he nervously asks.

'No, silly,'

she replies, snuggling up to him.

'Your boyfriend, then?'

he continues.

'No, not at all'

she says, nibbling away at his ear.

'Is it your dad or your brother?'

he inquires, hoping to be reassured.

'No, no, no! You are so hot when you're jealous!'
she answers.

'Well, who in the heck is he then?'

he demands.

She whispers in his ear,

'That's me before the surgery.'




A cat died and went to Heaven. God met her at the gates and said, 'You have been a good cat all these years. Anything you want is yours for the asking.'


The cat thought for a minute and then said, 'All my life I lived on a farm and slept on hard wooden floors. I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on.'


God said, 'Say no more.' Instantly the cat had a huge fluffy pillow.


A few days later, six mice were killed in an accident and they all went to Heaven together. God met the mice at the gates with the same offer that He made to the cat


The mice said, 'Well, we have had to run all of our lives: from cats, dogs, and even people with brooms! If we could just have some little roller skates, we would not have to run again.'
God answered, 'It is done.' All the mice had beautiful little roller skates.


About a week later, God decided to check on the cat. He found her sound asleep on her fluffy pillow. God gently awakened the cat and asked, 'Is everything okay? How have you been doing? Are you happy?'


The cat replied, 'Oh, it is WONDERFUL. I have never been so happy in my life. The pillow is so fluffy, and those little Meals on Wheels you have been sending over are delicious!'

Last one for now

A WOMAN STANDING NUDE IN FRONT OF A MIRROR, SAYS TO HER HUSBAND, “I LOOK HORRIBLE, I FEEL FAT & UGLY, PAY ME A COMPLIMENT.”
HE REPLIES, “YOUR EYESIGHT IS PERFECT!” whistling.gif

Nighthawk
These showed up today.

I know some have been posted here before, but others may not have been:


The ability to Make and Understand Puns Is the Highest

Level of Language Development. Here are the ten first place winners in the International Pun Contest:



A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'

Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says'Dam!'

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my Electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. 'But why?', they asked, as they moved off. 'Because,' he said,' I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.'

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to Spain, they name him 'Juan'; the other went to a family in Egypt and is named 'Ahmal.' Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, 'They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal.'

A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to 'persuade' them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

budgiemom
laugh.gif roll.gif laugh.gif The last two are the best!!!!!!! clapping.gif thanks for posting them! made my day!
Robyn
Groan!
OK, I agree with Budgie about the last two. wink3.gif

But, on to why I really stopped by. Here a a couple links to something really cool that showed up in my in-box today. I think perhaps we have another use for the Great Zero... whistling.gif
Trap Lightning in a Block
And
More (Be sure to play the videos...)
L'lee
Never Argue with a Woman

One morning a husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, his wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says...

'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?'

'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?')
'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.'

'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman.

'But I haven't even touched you,' says the game warden.

'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.'

'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.

MORAL:
Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think .
Robyn
Passed on from my sister--in-law...
QUOTE
It looks like Tom Smith may be approaching "critical mass." First he has the Official Song of "Talk Like a Pirate Day".... now ICanHasCheezburger.com says he has the Official LOLcat Song:

Cat Macros

And if anyone is in the Detroit area and interested, he'll be at Penguicon this weekend. (April 18 - 20)

Talk Like a Pirate Day whistling.gif
budgiemom
laugh.gif Arrrrrgh!!!!!...............way neat!
Rex Havoc
A Pirates Life For Me!!
Robyn
An Engineer's Guide to Cats
URP! I just about choked on this one! clapping.gif
Robyn
Subject: Wrong email address


This one is priceless... Wrong email address?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

A lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address!

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.

Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules, so, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day.

The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston , a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email ex pecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted.

The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:


To: My Loving Wife

Subject: I've Arrived

Date: October 16, 2005

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I've seen that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

Looking forward to seeing you then!

Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

Your Loving Husband

P.S. Sure is freaking hot down here! twisted.gif
Shadowcats
From my cousin

Cats in a music store.....

Cat listening to Stevie Wonder


Cat listening to HOUSE music


Cat listening to Metal


Cat listening to Hip Hop


Cat listening to GANGSTA RAP


Cat listening to Techno


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